A Great Home Facial

I want to go to a spa. I'm tired, sick, stressed, and angry over some bad news today. A helpful friend, who clearly has no concept of the difference in our income levels, told me I should go to a spa and get a facial to feel better.

Yeah. That's not going to happen.

Hm. I've done a facial at home before. Maybe it's time for that again.

Checking the website of a local spa, I discovered that a facial there would cost $80 (only $75 with a Groupon!), and would entail a gentle cleansing, exfoliation, moisturizing face mask, and massage.

Please. I can do that myself, and I guarantee it'll be a lot cheaper than $75 bucks.

Here are the steps I have devised for the perfect spa facial at home, with stuff from my kitchen:

Ambiance...

1) Send the children somewhere. Maybe convince the husband to bring them to the library or something. Or just get behind a door with a lock on it. Anything.

2) Put on something that you enjoy listening to. This can be relaxing music, one of those ocean sounds CDs, or maybe just the trashy reality TV show that you can't admit that you like.

3) Pour yourself a nice cup of healthy herbal tea. Or a mineral water. Or an enormous glass of wine. Whatever makes you feel relaxed.

4) If you wish, light a scented candle. Make sure that it is well away from anything flammable, and from small children bent on destruction.

Cleansing...

1) Seriously, just wash your face with whatever you usually wash your face with. If you want to use a special soap for the occasion, or want to make this step more ceremonious or something, knock yourself out.

Steaming...

Steam is wonderful for deep cleaning those pores, and there are several ways to go about this step.

1) Get a bowl of boiling water. Put your face over the bowl, and a towel over your head and the bowl (to keep in the steam). This has the drawback of requiring you to sit with your face over a bowl.

2) Do pretty much the same thing, but with a clothing steamer. Warning: Stay at least a full foot away from the steamer as second degree burns are really unattractive.

3) Wet a wash cloth with tap water. Ring about 80-90% of the water out, then microwave it for 20-30 seconds. When it is just cool enough to touch, sit down and put the wash cloth over your face. Leave until cool. Repeat if you feel like it. (I like this method the best).

Exfoliating...

This is the simplest, best face scrub in the world. Ready?

1) Put a tablespoon of baking soda in a teacup or other small vessel.

2) Add enough water to make a creamy paste.

3) Using your fingertips, massage this gently over your face in small, overlapping circles.

4) Rinse.

Moisturizing Face Mask...

There are a LOT of recipes out there on the internet for homemade face masks. here are two that I have used and had success with:

1) For dry skin:
1/2 avocado
1 tbsp honey

Blend together in a food processor until creamy. Apply to face and leave on for 15-20 minutes. Wash off.

2) For oily skin:
1 banana
1 tbsp honey
1 squirt of lemon

Blend together in a food processor until creamy. Apply to face and leave on for 15-20 minutes. Wash off.
(See a pattern?)

That's it. Your total cost depends on how much of this stuff you have in your kitchen. For me, the only thing I had to get was the avocado, which cost me $1.99. I only used half, so this entire facial cost me a dollar.

Not bad, huh? I didn't even need a Groupon.